Why I don't hate my exes

 R, you looked at me from across the room and i felt seen, wanted, desired and truly loved romantically by a man for the first time. You showed me there were men that would look at my imperfections and see glorious beautify and I will always love you for that. Thank you. 

A.1, you were an example of independent living, "The world is your oyster" was your teaching and the safety you made me feel the day my world collapsed will never be forgotten. You held my hand through a walk out of a tight closet and I will always love you for that. Thank you. 

H, you showed me patience. You waited for me, cared for me, loved me deeply and shared your life, your friend and your family with me, even though you knew I wasn't healed enough to do the same and I will always love you for that. I'm sorry I didn't treat you better. Thank you anyways

C, you showed me what a safe, healthy relationship looks like. We set boundaries with understanding, were slow to anger and forgave often and communicated always. We loved each other completely and until the end. A part of me only believes in true love today because of what I lived with you and I will always love you for that. Thank you, my sweet C.

A.2, with you I lived wlw clichés and learned why certain risks shouldn't be taken. Inspired by you, I also broke free of professional limitations and started believing I could do more then I anticipated and I will always love you for that. Thank you. 

L, you were fun, and kind and generous and I couldn't believe my luck. You made me feel powerful and strong and charming and light and happy. You showed me that people who will love me, miss me, count on me, and want me around all the time are NOT too much to ask for and I will always love you for that. Thank you so much. 

N, you taught me about beauty and bravery. I'll never forget the way you smiled when you looked at me, nor of how kissing you made me feel. You also faced fears, diligently applied healing techniques and openly expressed difficult emotions inspite of the fear of being misunderstood, mislabeled and rejected. You showed me how to bold, but kindly, choose myself first and I will always love you for that. Thank you.

You may never read this homage, 

I may never see you again

Reliving this will never occur

But I hope you do read. 

I hope in the depths of your soul you know you left an eternally positive imprint in the life of someone you once loved, 

And that a part of you is

And will always be

Loved, at least by me. 

Thank you.