Maybe.

So maybe I'm not the best dancer in the world - but I have fun dancing.
And maybe I sing really off tune - but singing sets me free.
Maybe all I can draw are sticks on a paper - but in the abstrat world, everything is art.
Maybe I'm terrible at math - but I'm a genious in science.
Maybe I'm not very popular - but the friends I have, I'll keep for life.
Maybe my life is crooked  - but I bet I'm not alone.
Maybe my life is crooked - but there's always someone in a worse case.
Maybe my life is crooked - but "let the week say 'I am strong'".
Maybe I'm still at my parents house - but I listen to awesome stories from when my dad was a kid, and learn things from him withough having to experience an enormous amont of pain
Maybe I'm not rich - but I make my own toys!
Maybe you'll die if you eat most of my food - but no one can resist my "egg in the hole".

Maybe I'm a walking contradiction - but I'm constantly changing, improving.

Maybe I'm wrong - but maybe I'm right.

It all really depends on your point of view.

Luisa

                                                So maybe now's the time to tell you this.

                    I've known you for a very short time, and something in you impressed me. The friendship created between me and you was the fastest I've ever had. And to impress me even more, it was real, not just interest or convenience.

                   
                      I already had a very happy life. I had my Keepers long before you showed up, but I was going through my worst period with them when you came along. I was leaving.

                      Everything you said to me got me extremely surprised cause I was seeing what I had said to them, now coming back to me, through you, and I was shocked, but I was beginning to feel the same.

                     Time passed and I finally allowed myself to be free with you, to show the real me, and your response to it, made me love you, because you didn't judge me as I expected, and understood me. You made me happy every single time you called, even when I didn't know what to say, and you didn't say anything at all. - Fala comigo.(PI, hehe)

                     So we became friends and that friendship has been at times what keeps me going. That was when you became a Keeper! The keepers were still the Keepers, and I didn't forget them for a minute, but you tried a bit harder, you deserve the credit.

                     Our fights over "who-loves-who-more" might have seemed silly, but deep down, It was real, every word. You know that, and so do I.

So that's why this pain is hurting so bad.

Today you gave the news that would ruin my day, yes, feel guilty about it. Today you told me YOU were leaving. And you had to leave soon. 

I know the pain you feel, cause I've been there just last year, but I didn't know it would hurt this much to be on this side of the story. 

I tell you I miss you all the time, and it's always true, but we are "close". In desperate circumstances, or just opportunities , I can see you, and you can see me, but now I'm not so sure that's gonna happen as easily as it could.

                   No matter where you are, I'll always be with you, and you with me, cause I love you, and I cary you in my heart, never forget that. I'll miss you like hell, but I'll never forget you. Ever. I don't know what the future will be like, but I'm fine cause I know your my friend, and that will never change. - But saying that would be saying: Yeah, you leaving! NOOOOO. YOU CAN'T LEAVE.

I don't want to make this worse, but it hurts very much to me to see that I might lose you. You know what I mean.

I love you Luisa. That's never gonna change,

But it won't ever stop hurting until I'm sure,

that this is just a rumor, and I'll be with you for GOOD.

That I won't lose you. I can't.

I love you pessoa

Talking to an angel

                                                    ... he passed me by...

      On one dark and lonely night, a big sister and a little brother sat on the wooden stairs of the porch. She had him laing in her arms and sang to him a comforting melody. The boy had his eyes nearly closed when she laid him alone on the porch, and ran inside. The lights were out and she was having a hard time, moving in the house.

      Where was it? She needed to find it! It was her only escape. Not even the soft melody she sang to her brother helped this time. She needed it, maybe now more then ever. For the first time, her father had ment his words when he said he'd never come back. She held on for a week, but now the lights were gonne, and the maid said she couldn't come anymore. Soon she'd have to live on the street.  She needed something to help her drown these things away. Definitely, she needed him. She ran back to the front door once she remembered, that's where she had left him, just behind the door. She heard the metal's noise with it's movement, and picked it up from the grownd.

      This it was. She could just finish it here, and the boy would be found by the maid when she would come back for her money, if she ever came. The girl didn't care. The boy was young, and had nothing to do with anything, but it wasen't her fault if dad didn't want to kill him to save mom at labor. She loved the boy, but she couldn't bare this life anymore.

      The light of the moon was the only ilumination on the porch. She walked out of the house, towards the light, but standing still at the door, as far as she could go, without awaking the boy. She gave what she thought to be a last look outside and placed the blade on her rist. And then, it happened.

 - WHAT ARE YOU DOING? - A voice shouted. She didn't answer. - Anne, stop! Listen to me. - With this, she droped the knife. He had never called her name before, nor ever said "stop".

 - Who are you ? - She looked for someone who might have spoken from the dark.

 - You know who I am. - She looked at the blade and squatted towards it a bit frightened.

 - Why did you tell me to stop?

 - Because you clearly had got my utility wrong. Anne, you have to stop this. You always run to me when you're week, BUT I JUST MAKE YOU WORSE! That's what I'm made to do. I'm made to cut and kill but not YOU. Don't you see it?

 - See what?

 - Life isn't easy and it will never be, but as long as it exists, it can always get better. It's realy up to you. But death is the end of the road. You can fix life, make it at least pleasent to you, but with death, all your chances are gonne. Plus, you're not alone on this. - She looked at her brother laing they're so defenceless and felt the sudden need to run to him, and to have him in her arms.

 - The feeling you just had is called "Mother's Love". So if you realy have no other reason to live, do it because that little boy needs you. He doesn't know mom and dad are gonne, but he does know that he trully loves when someone's sweet voice sings to him "Little eyes".

 - How do you know what I felt? And how do you know that's the song I sing to him? - She looked back at the blade, still confused with what was happening that very moment.

 - That doesn't matter. What matters is that you need to get rid of me, once an for all. You know that. Now's the time.

 - But what will I do without you?

 - You will live. You will live and have a good life without me. Whenever you need to be free of the pain, play you music, cry, write, do whatever it takes, but never come back to me. And before you do get rid of me, I need you to promise me something.

 - Anything! - She batled her words between tears and sobs.

 - Promise me you will never let that boy get close to me. Promise you will be there for him, so he will never have to call for me. Promise you will be his family, and you will do all you can to make him happy. Promise me you will be happy.

      The girl was on her knees and crying like a baby as looking at the object who so many times riped her skin and shed her blood, and now told her to be happy. To be HAPPY! How could this be? Why did he never say this before, if he realy didn't wan't her to use him?

 - Because you wouldn't listen to me. You would cut anyway. But stop making questions, and make me my promise. Please. - He answered to her thoughts.

      She looked at her brother who had awaken and sat up strait looking to the moon and lowered her voice.

 - I promise.

 - Good. I'm glad you do! Now, throw me far from sight. Out of the house, and away from both of your lives.

- I'll miss you. - She had her face sunk in her hands.

 - No you won't. You'll be to busy being happy and making him happy. So now go, trow me. And don't look for me! Do it, do it now! Be free.

     

      She picked him up, ran across her brother and down the stairs and threw him as far as she could. She smiled as she saw the blade shine at the moon light as it flew away from her life. The boy ran to his sister, and hugged her tight.

 - What is it like to be touched by an angel? - He asked his sister excitedly

 - What are you talking about? - She looked at boy gliming eyes.

 - I saw him hug you, when you were crying on the floor. You said "I promise", and he smiled. He was all white and shiny. He was huging you sis, don't you remember?

 - There was no angel John.

 - Yes there was! He was talking to you, I saw it! You were looking at the floor, and he was right beside you, talking in your ear.- The boy's voice was desperate but changed to the question: - Did you hear him?

     A Chill  went trough her body with simply the thought. Could it realy have been as angel? But she hadn't seen him!

 - I didn't see him. - She said to the boy

 -You weren't looking at him. But he saw you, and me to. He winked at me and smiled. He was happy sis. You made him happy.

     He stoped and grabed his sister in a long, tight hug, and smiled wildly.

 - I love you sis.

 - I love you John.

     And as the tears came back to her eyes a small smile cachted a ride with them, iluminating her face and filling her heart with joy. With that smile on her face, and her brother in her arms, she wispered a "thank you" to the wind, hoping it would cary the mesage to him, wherever he may be.

                                                            THE END...

I learned...

     Sei o que é querer morrer.

     Sei o que é procurar sem encontrar, um motivo para viver.

     Sei o que é por a corda no pescoço. Sei qual a dor do encontro da cabeça com uma parede de pedra bruta. Sei o que é prender a respiração esperando que com o meu desanimo e falta de desejo para viver, meu corpo resista ao impulso de puxar o ar de volta, e sempre me pergunto por que ele insiste em puxa-lo, se eu sei que não quero a vida quem junto.

     Sei o que é envolver o pescoço e apertá-lo até que a mente grite:

     “O QUE VOCÊ ESTÁ FAZENDO?”

     Conheço a dor como alguns conhecem, mas... não suportaria ver você passar pelo que eu passei.

     Quero te ajudar. Quero te dar o apoio que eu não recebi quando, com vontade, me lancei contra a dor, mas não existe nada pior do que se sentir completamente inútil como ombro amigo, quando alguém insiste em dizer: Eu quero morrer!

    EU TE AMO.

     E se tem uma coisa que uma corda no pescoço me ensinou, é que existe muito mais a vida do que esse sofrimento presente. Ele tem prazo de validade. Ele dura só o quanto você o encara. Se você dormir, acordar, e considerar de fato o passado como PASSADO, você segue em frente, vive e procura algo novo. A vida é uma busca. Mas antes de entende-la por completo (a vida), você precisa de uma meta. Um objetivo.

     Então, se você não viver por mais nada, viva por que tem pessoas que não suportariam viver sem você (e eu sou uma delas).

             VIVA! LIVE, CAUSE LIFE IS GOOD.

A piece of me

     You once asked me a question I couldn't answer.
     I truly can't tell you who I am,
     But I know what I could be for you.
     In your hands I'm a paper.
     You can fold me, paint me, or print on me.
     You can do with me as you whish...
     If certainly you and me are to belong.

     Why can't human been be independent?
     Why can't I survive completely on my own?
     Why do I need you to survive, if I don't even want you?
     Why do I suffer when I don't have you?
     Why can't I just be alone?

                              But all at the same time  
     Where are you now?
     Why can't you be here with me?
     What will I ever do without you?
   
                             Cause independent of what I want, I know what I need.


  I love you

BE a Friend.

1- Tell me the Truth!                I don't care if it hurts. Please be fully honest.
2- Correct me!                        If I'm doing something wrong and you Know it, please let me know.
3 - Slap me when I'm stupid!     I mean that!
4 - Ignore me when I'm rude, or an idiot!
5 - Forgive me...even if I didn't ask you to.
6 - Listen to me!
7 - DON'T DRY MY TEARS. UNDERSTAND THEY ARE MY PAIN AND THEY NEED TO LEAVE ON THEIR OWN!              But be the shoulder I can cry on.
8 - Pick me up when I've fallen.
9 - TALK!                             Even if you don't know what to say, or just LISTEN when that's all I need.
10 - Let me do the same!     Understand that I'm a person like you. I have experience with life to. And just because (I trusted you enogh to) show the worst of me, my weakest part, doesn't mean I'm incapable of helping you when you need it.    ... You would be surprised!
Be a friend - and I promise I'll be yours to.