Avoidand attachment style - with God

 My idea of love is very twisted because of how I was brought up. For example, being beat up verbally in hours of a fight because someone wants the best for me makes me feel loved (as well as hurt, disrespected and ).

Therefore

When I don’t feel loved by God, it’s not because He’s not actually loving me - it’s because I CAN'T SEE his love. The love I EXPECT to receive is not healthy, true, good, genuine love. The love He gives IS.


God does not love me unhealthily. It’s not in his nature to be bad, or to love poorly. He gave his only son out of love for me. He loves me completely, intensely.


In other words, when I'm not feeling loved by God or my brothers in Christ (both blood related and other), it's not because I'm not being loved, it's because I'm not seeing how loved I am. Just because I can't see it in the moment, doesn't mean that it's not there. Same as sun is still in the sky during the night and continues to provide it's warmth, gravitational pull and light through the moon.