Day 193

 We fought. Again

You are always asking me to be fair.

But when I asked for the same... 

            ...somehow I became the person who didn't listen, care, pay attention to your emotions.

I give.

I take.

I can only give from what I have.

What do I have?

The irony of finding the calendar event     YOU MADE     of our imagined wedding date, while spotify played that "all my tears have been used up" from Another love, is just baffling for me.

If the universe showed good signs, he has to be showing bad ones too, right?

Am I blind? Why the FUCK do I fall back here all the time? 

Can I get better? Is it a matter of working on the relationship? How far should one yield without becoming submissive? 

I don't want to give up. Damn, I'm tired.

3 - a full circle lesson.

 The first helped me see and break the chains the bound me.

The second showed me what real love, caring love, believing fully in a another person means.

The third taught me to think further. She showed me how big society, our languages, our history, our social circles and professional choices can be. She helped me grow.

The first released my body.

The second, my heart.

The third, my mind.

I stood in awe, filled with hope and wonder as to what is yet to come.
Now, I take my leave, appreciating the journey they have lead me on and understanding that though it was good, it is not what I want.

Tried and true,
this is not for you.

Thank you and goodbye to the girls that stayed for while.